


The Move

by Huffleclawrox



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dan Howell Needs A Hug, Fluff and Angst, Fluff is later on, Hurt Phil, M/M, Phil Lester Needs a Hug, Sad Phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 10:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16282586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huffleclawrox/pseuds/Huffleclawrox
Summary: Dan Howell moves out to find himself. Phil doesn’t like it.





	The Move

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! This’ll be a ‘series’. There will be Dan POV, Phil POV, M A Y B E some little things in between and then the ending, where the fluff will be  
> Rated teen just in case

For years, Dan and Phil have lived together. They did everything together and you barely ever saw one without the other. They were a pair. They were best friends but also so much more. They loved each other so much and couldn’t bare to be apart.

However, recently, Dan has been questioning who he is. He used to be danisnotonfire but now he was Daniel Howell. Though he didn’t have his cringy old branding anymore, he still acted fairly similar to how he was before. Sure, he was more open, confident, and soft at times, but his personality was mainly just the same. Was Daniel a pessimistic guy that wore black and talked about death? Or was he something different? He wasn’t sure anymore but he wanted to find out who he was. He felt like he needed to find out. 

Over the next week or two, he began to notice two things. One of them was how close he was to Phil. Sure, it was nice to have such a close friend, but he noticed that he was thinking about him whenever he did anything. An example was in the morning when he was making himself some breakfast. He was pouring milk into his cereal when he wondered if he should make some coffee for Phil. However, he didn’t since Phil walked into the kitchen after that and began to make himself and Dan some coffee. Another example is when Dan was looking through his phone. He was trying to find a picture that he added to his reading list a while ago and he suddenly wondered why he had so many random gifs and stuff on his reading list. He checked one of them and suddenly understood why. He used to bookmark things to show to Phil later because he was lazy and didn’t feel like copying and texting a link or saving and sending a photo through text so he just added them to his reading list and showed them to him when they were sat next to each other. 

Another thing he noticed was how different but similar they are and were. Back in the emo hair days, they both had straight hair that was done in opposite directions with Phil’s black and Dan’s brown. They both do vlog like videos but Dan’s are deep and uncensored and Phil’s are silly and family friendly. They both had similar fashion sense but Dan preferred dark clothes (with a bit of color now) and Phil preferred bright, colorful clothes. They were so similar but also so different.

This made Dan wonder something. Did he become the way he was now because of Phil? Because he wanted to compliment his idol so well? Was that not who he truly was? It seemed plausible since they had been together for nine, nearly ten years. That made him wonder who the true Dan was. Was he soft? Was he optimistic? Was he rude? Was he silly? Was he still like Dan now? He wasn’t sure but he wanted to find out. But how would he do that? At first, he tried to distance himself from Phil, but that didn’t work since he always failed with every attempt since he’d end up talking to him for an hour about why dogs are awesome or playing a game with him. Either that or Phil would bring up Dan avoiding him one day. He’d try to deny and continue but always failed once he looked into those big, beautiful, blue eyes. They looked so sad. He looked like a hurt puppy. That always made him cave in. So, he felt like he needed more distance. That’s when he started looking for flats.

 

He felt awful for suddenly deciding to move out but he needed to discover who he truly was. He was positive he’d move back in someday but at the moment he need some space to discover who he was. He just needed some space. Finding an flat that was nice and the right price was easy compared to his next task, which was telling Phil that he was moving out. It was really hard to tell him because they were so close, because Phil loved that Dan lived with him, and because Phil was acting really strange recently. Dan guessed it was because he had been ignoring him so much and that now they were on really thin ice and it made Phil act strange. There were many failed attempts until the fateful day. The day he was finally able to tell him.

It was an ordinary day. If Dan remembers correctly, it was a Wednesday. A normal Wednesday. They just finished editing and Sims video and now they were on the couch. Phil was on his phone but Dan wasn’t. He was messing with his hands, trying to figure out how to bring the subject up. Phil seemed to notice that he wasn’t acting normally since he was the first one to speak. “Dan, is everything okay?” He asked him, concern clear in his voice. Dan winced internally and felt a jab at his heart. Why did he always have to care so much about him. This made bringing up the move so much harder. “Uh, y-yeah, I just... need to tell you something...” Dan replied, letting out a small sigh. He looked at Phil’s face before quickly looking away, making sure to make a mental note to not look at his face during this. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to do it. Why did he have to look so worried and scared? “Okay... What is it? You sound so downcast... You’re making worried, Dan,” he joked with a smile and a small laugh. Phil must’ve known it was series when Dan didn’t laugh as well. 

Dan kept his eyes down and took a deep breath before plunging into the speech he practiced so many times in the mirrors. “So, I’ve been thinking about who I am for a long time now. I think it’s been a few months? I know I’m throwing this on you so suddenly, but I could never bring it up before. It was hard since we’ve been together for so long. However, now I need to know who I am and I know this will help. So, Phil, this is what I need to tell you: I’m moving out. I found a flat to stay in. I’ll be moving there at the end of this month. I... I don’t how we’ll do DanAndPhilGAMES yet. Since I’m discovering myself, we should probably play some games solo before together. I’m sorry. I’ll move back in someday, I’m just not sure when,” Dan let out a sigh after all that explaining. It was a lot. It felt good to get it off his chest. Now, the thing on his chest was the anxiety of Phil’s reaction.

There were many reactions Dan was reacting from Phil. From most to least likely, he was expecting sadness, worry, fear, anxiety, anger, hatred, betrayal, happiness, and absolute joy. However, what he wasn’t expecting was silence. Silence. Cold, sad silence that chilled him to the bone. Awkward, tense silence. He didn’t look at Phil’s face. He just couldn’t. He knew he’d regret it if he did so he continued to look away. The silence went on for a minute before Dan spoke again. “I’m sorry. I really am. I just... need time. Time and space. I know it won’t be the same but we’ll still talk,” after saying that, Dan got up and went into his room to pack, leaving Phil alone in the silence.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Over the next few days, Phil avoided Dan. Dan could understand why. Phil was probably really sad and angry and needed to sort out his emotions. However, Dan didn’t like that this sorting of emotions and avoiding Dan involved not eating or taking care of himself. Also, they needed to talk. They couldn’t just avoid each other forever. So, Dan decided to get Phil out of his room the best way he could: sweets. Phil had the biggest sweet tooth ever so he made a plan and put it into action. 

Dan decided to make some chocolate chip cookies for this plan. He made sure they tasted good and were in plain sight before putting a few of them on a plate with a sticky note. The note said “hey phil, made some cookies, there are more in the kitchen if you want some more. don’t eat all of them! - dan.” Since Dan had been leaving food for Phil outside his door (with notes on where to get more) this didn’t seem suspicious. He placed them on the floor outside Phil’s door, knocked gently, and then walked into his own room. He closed the door, so Phil would think he was in his room and not out where Phil could run into him, before quietly and slowly opening it a bit. He heard Phil’s door open after a few seconds after hearing Dan’s door close. He heard Phil pick up the plate, eat a cookie, take the sticky note off it, set the plate down in his room, and head off towards the kitchen. Dan followed him, making sure to be as silent and sneaky as he could. It was fairly easy since Phil’s loud movements covered up his own. 

Dan decided to strike once Phil had picked up once of the cookies on the cooling rack. He quickly moved forward. Phil turned around since he heard movement. The older man’s eyes widened. He looked like he might run off again. Unluckily for Phil, Dan had a plan. He grabbed one of Phil’s wrists, the one with the cookie, and pressed him against the counter, his body very close to the other man’s. It was like a smut scene had come to life but this was much more angsty and uncomfortable (for Phil). Phil dropped the cookie in shock. Now that Dan was close, he could see how awful Phil looked. He had bags under his eyes, his eyes are red and puffy like he had been crying, he seemed to have faint tear marks, he didn’t smell too good, his clothing looked like it hadn’t been changed since the conversation, his hair was all messy, his eyes weren’t happy blue but sad blue, and he seemed... smaller and more frightened than before.

Dan felt his heart crushed by how awful he looked. He wanted to fix this somehow but still be able to go and find himself. “Phil... we need to talk,” he told his best friend. Phil went from sad to angry in a matter of seconds. He glared up at Dan. “Why? I think you made it very clear that you want to move out. It’s fine, I understand, I know you need to find out who you are. Just... quit! Stop! Stop caring about me so much! Don’t make it harder for me to handle when you leave! My heart already hurts so much, don’t make it hurt more! Just... just leave! Quit making me love you so much!” Phil yelled at him. But even as he yelled, tears fell from his eyes and down his cheeks. Dan frowned. This was such an odd thing to say. He didn’t like it. He wanted to hug and embrace Phil but decided not to. It just didn’t seem like the right thing so do. “Phil... you know I won’t stop worrying. I love you so much so I obviously worry about you. Even when I’m gone, I want you to be happy and take care of yourself. I won’t be gone forever,” Dan softly told him. They weren’t in a relationship but they often told each other ‘I love you’ and other things (but never around fans of course). Even though they weren’t together, Dan wanted to be and sometimes acted like they were.

Phil kept crying and looked down at the ground. Softly, he finally spoke. “Please... go away... I want to be alone...” He quietly told the slightly taller man. Dan opened his mouth and stared to talk but Phil interrupted him. He pushed his free hand against Dan’s chest. “I said go away! Leave me alone!” Phil suddenly yelled, looking up at him with angry but sad and scared eyes. Dan felt his heart be stabbed with a knife. He knew they should talk but he couldn’t talk to Phil while the older man was like this. He let go of his hand. Before he stepped away, however, he gently kissed his head and mumbled a soft ‘I’m sorry’. After he stepped away, Phil ran off, still crying. He locked himself in his room. Dan let out a soft sigh and ran his hand through his curly hair. 

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

For the rest of the month, Dan tried to get Phil to talk to him but kept failing. They kept ending with Phil crying or with a fight. Dan didn’t like that he had to move now but he knew he had to. He couldn’t be happy until he knew who he was. Why couldn’t Phil understand that? He didn’t get why he couldn’t. 

Soon, the dreaded day came: moving day. Phil said he’d be out for this day. Dan missed seeing him so much. He missed when he could just talk and laugh with his best friend. But now he feared his want for knowing himself may have messed up their relationship. But now all the things were in the truck and he was giving the last box to the moving guy. He sighed softly and then turned to look at Phil. Phil was still a mess and now he was staring at his feet. Dan glanced down at them and felt a small pang in his heart when he noticed they were matching. Not only were they matching but the clothes Phil was wearing were rather dark. Dan found it a little odd. He was guessing it was Phil’s way of saying that he’d miss him. Dan let out another sigh and looked at Phil. Phil suddenly looked up, slowly. “I... I guess this is it. We’re... no longer roommates. But we’ll still be friends! I’ll be sure to text you when I get to my new place, okay?” Dan said reassuringly, wincing internally at the suddenly ‘my’. Phil nodded before looking back down at his feet.

Dan frowned at this. He didn’t like that he made Phil so upset with the move. He walked over to Phil and pulled him into a tight hug. “Phil, please don’t be like this. I know we’ll no longer be roommates, but we’ll still be best friends. You know I’d never want to change that. I’m sorry but I have to do this, okay?” But Phil didn’t answer. He didn’t even hug him back. That’s when Dan lost his patience with him. He didn’t get why he had to act like this. It wasn’t like he was leaving him forever. Just a move to find himself. He pulled away from the hug and turned away from Phil. “Goodbye,” he told him before leaving the apartment.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

It had been around a month since Dan moved out. He texted and called Phil numerous times but never got a response from him. It ticked him off. Also, because of this, the Phans were getting antsy and suspicious. Why was Dan tweeting and posting pictures to instagram but Phil wasn’t? Why were there no new DanAndPhilGAMES videos? Why were there no new AmazingPhil or Daniel Howell videos or live-streams? They started making a lot of theories. None of them were true but some of them were close to the truth. So, Dan decided to make a video. He called it ‘The Move’. In the video, he explained he moved out, the reasons why, and a bit of his frustrations with Phil. When he uploaded it, the Phans had very divided opinions on it. Some waned Dan to move back in with Phil, some supported Dan, some hated Phil for his reactions, and some hated both of them. However, Dan didn’t care about how it made them feel, honestly. He was excited to finally find himself.


End file.
